Out Loud
by nanirain
Summary: It comes down to the final battle, and Naraku escapes into another world. Kagome’s the only one who can follow after, but to do so she’ll have to leave Inuyasha behind. He never allows himself to cry for her. But as the mirror shows his real face...


**A/N**: italics are Inuyasha's. Normal font is normal story. Strange and sudden mid-night inspiration. I know it's raw and it sucks. That's okay. I'm in this for the fun:D Still, I might rewrite it if I decide that its too crappy in the morning.

**Disclaimer**: Any recognizable material does not belong to me.

"Remember, you call for me if it gets too dangerous." Inuyasha said, trying to take charge and defy the fates.

Kagome nodded, pale and quiet and beautiful. Her figure was filled with a sad gracefulness that reminded him more of Kikyo than of Kagome. It didn't belong on her. He knew she was just playing along with his act. Both of them knew that even if she did call for him – and even if he could heard her - he would never be able to protect her when he couldn't follow after her.

The reality of it was that Kagome was going to go behind the glass of that god damned mirror, and never come back out again. He wouldn't be able to find her once she'd left. Because the mirror that Kanna had used to help Naraku escape would only accept someone of pure heart now, after now accepting someone so tainted as Naraku – pure evil.

It was all a matter of balance, really. Miroku had explained when he saw the enchanted mirror – for he knew of it. It as known as the God's Mirror, an ancient portal to another realm beyond that of men. Once it had accepted one of such great evil, it would accept no one, unless he or she were pure enough to balance out the dark power…

Everyone knew that Inuyasha didn't fit on either side of the scale. Not all demon… but not human either… Not evil… but far from pure. Not like Kagome...

He couldn't stop her from volunteering – which, of course, she had. She was just that kind of girl. It was the reason he cared so much about her. And bloody mirror, of course, had immediately accepted her offer, detecting her willingness and needing to create the balance in the realm that had accepted such evil.

Inuyasha couldn't stop her if it was what she insisted on doing… if the fates themselves wouldn't allow him to interfere. So, all he had left to do was pretend that she was going to be okay. He needed to pretend.

"I'm serious, Kagome." He said, staring steadily at her with amber eyes. His sword was at the ready, gripped for use in case anyone tried to damage the mirror while she was inside. He had been told that this was the extent of his power – play guardian for the portal. That was it. He hated it. "I'll be waiting for you." He said firmly, planting his feet in the ground. "If you need me, I'll come in after you, I swear. No matter what it takes."

He said it with such sincerity. As if he actually could…

_I'll save you_, _Kagome_.

"…Okay." The lost girl nodded. Tucking a piece of hair behind her ears, she looked at him and he could see her trying to figure out how to say goodbye. It killed him. Finally, she gave up on words and wrapped her arms around his middle, holding him tight against her body. Also wordless, he returned her embrace, but it felt empty, and so unlike all the other times he had held her. Because now he felt as if he were betraying her by holding her… it felt as if he were letting her go by pulling her close… like he was saying goodbye.

He shook the feeling away and looked at her. A weak smile flit across her lips and her arms fell from his waist and returned to her sides.

_And though I don't want to admit it… least of all to you…_

"You fight as hard as you can, got it? No giving up on me, Kagome." He said, his golden eyes staring hard at her, trying to pierce the words right through her heart. That way she would never forget them.

She smiled softly at him.

_But when I see you looking at me like that… _

"You bet." She said softly, a trace of conviction lost in her tired sadness… she sounded so numb.

_With those sad brown eyes, and saying all those brave things to me… just so I can hear them… _

"I'll see you when you finish him." Inuyasha said again, stony seriousness.

_And pretending to be so strong… for me…. Just like I did so many times for you_…

"Yeah." She said, still smiling as she rested her hand on the silver frame of the mirror. She tossed her long black hair over her shoulder. And silence reigned between them. An awkward last moment.

_I realize how much you must have felt for me… for all those years when I was the one pretending… _

_Our places have reversed now, and I'm watching you play my role. I've never had to lend you strength before, like you did for me… I never realized how hard it was… how lonely…_

"Wish me luck?" She said finally, quirking her head to the side and smiling. The movement was wiser and heavier than it used to be somehow. She used to do it with ease – toss her hair over her shoulder, quirk her head to the side, grin at him… but now the motion's ghost remained, heavy and tired where she used to be young and light for him.

_When I see you looking at me like that, so lost and scared… I'm tempted to just kiss_ you.

"Feh." Inuyasha smirked.

_Because I realize… _

"Do you need it?" He asked, smiling still.

_That you're a terrible actress._

She smiled for real this time, and shook her head. "No. But I still want it."

_And that I've never loved you quiet so much as Ido right now..._

There was a pregnant pause that gripped at the air between them. Both of were waiting, both of them listening. Everything was at stake and neither one of them knew what they wanted to say...

"Good luck, Kagome."

_And I also realize… _

"Thank you." She said, smiling as warmly as she said his name on last time: "Inuyasha."

_That I am so afraid for you… _

And she tried her best to seem happy as she stepped to the mirror, holding that smile that he knew wasn't true. A blue flash blinded him, and she was gone. For an instant, while he shied away from the flash of light, he thought he saw her staring back through the glass at him, her hand pressed on the smooth clear plane that separated them, before she disappeared into darkness.

_I am so afraid for you… _

Inuyasha's knuckles turned white as his hands gripped the hilt of his sword.

Everything was still.

_But I'd never admit it to you... _

"Be careful…" He whispered finally, his voice for the first time, showing traces of the fear.

The icy glass in the mirror frosted and cracked into a crystalline spider web. Some of the pieces fell onto the floor, broken off completely. Separate. Leaving him powerless to do anything but stare at his own face, warped and unrecognizable in the shattered glass. A mirror to his soul… Broken and alone, and changed by impurity. The thick black lines, raking across his reflection, created the illusion that there were tears glittering in his eyes. Haunted… **hunted** by these burning golden eyes.

This is what she must have seen, in her last moment of looking at him. This is what she must have known. It was relief, and at the same time it was anguish. Because he was Inuyasha, and he would never allow himself to cry for her…

_Out loud. _

_A/N_: End. Possibly i could continue if u all like, but i think i like it the way it is. Note: not everything always has to have a perfect ending. Especially not one-shots. :)

xox - _till next time... nanirain_

I edited it. :-P 'cuz I'm a huge cheater. And I re-read it and realized how sloppy it was.


End file.
